"Soul Revealing Spiritual Healing" Your Ocean is Vast & Your Sky has no Ceiling.

Aug ’11: Teaching the Teachers * Powering the Parents

The Great Back to School Launch!!!

That’s right, I said it …“Who are you calling a Single Parent”?  I suppose that if  the term “single parent” did not have a disapproving connotation, I would not choose to ask such a question.  In my almost four decades of serving … working with and for young people, educators and families, I have discovered that students, parents and teachers alike use the term “SP (Single Parent)” as a reason for being “less than”, “incapable” and/or  somehow “deprived”. At times, even young people, who I know to be of exceptional skill, attribute their lack of attaining a particular goal to being a child of a single parent home.  Now, do you truly think this is a natural way of being OR is it possible that this belief system of an otherwise “I know what I like” child, is a learned thought pattern and/or behavior?

What about homes that do have the traditional two parents? Would I say this is an automatic winning model? Guess what loved ones, my vast expertise of experience has assured me that its ABSOLUTELY about Quality and not quantity!  Yes, I bear witness that a harmonious two parent home may be the ideal environment for raising a healthy well balanced child.  Such is natures design.  For that matter, a home of four leading adults, two parents PLUS the blessing of grandparents is a magnificent, almost extinct, traditional blessing for growing and guiding our children. Nevertheless… if  the relationship of the adults in the family is not peacefully positively progressive, the quantity of two remains minimal and the quality of living is less than a child deserves.

What about teachers, educators and the school/classroom setting? From where I sit, it seems that our country is more focused on test taking and making the grade in a few specific academic areas, than it is on the “whole” life learning role, the role I know that most teachers played in my life as I grew up. Whatever happened to a healthy balance of academics with inquiry, penmanship, sportsmanship, exploratory skill/trade development and educators working hand in hand WITH parents?

Children of all ages, learn what they live! If the adult generation today has to constantly be reminded of the courageous men and women who paved the way for our greater human rights experience and socioeconomic existence, who are we to expect that our children will automatically “get it”? As the people whose shoulders our children stand on, it may behoove us to “Remember to Remember” those whose shoulders lifted us all up! “Progressive Presence” is the Gift we are charged to bring to our children! If “Progressive Presence” is the gift teachers bring parents and “Progressive Presence” is the gift parents bring teachers, “Progressive Presence” may likely be the gift our children bring to their own self worth … confidently contributing to their lives, our lives and the world!!

If a husband/father goes off to war and loses his life, do we commonly refer to the mom then, as a single parent or a widow? 

Now before you ask it, let me say it.  I am happily married to a wonderful man.  Yet, before my beloved and I graced each others lives, I was divorced from my childrens’ father for 17 years!  I know first-hand the dynamics of one adult heading a household with children.  I simply made an adult decision, dedicated to the “Whole Wellness” of our 2 daughters and proclaimed, “Our living separation would not define our children’s situation”.  

If you find this concept mute or pointless, I beseech you to humor me for a moment and consider how embracing this formula could revitalize parenting and teaching alike.

100% + 100% = 200% divided by 2(50%) = 100%. 

Explanation …

If each parent is responsible for 100% of 50% of the parenting partnership, then technically this will give the child a total of 200% of Parent Power. 

Therefore, if any circumstances remove one parent from the household, the child is still blessed with a 100% Whole Parent!

Now isn’t that a revolutionary concept… a Whole Parent!  I suppose with this formula some may say, “see… the two parent home is greater!” Alas… remember its “Quality over quantity darling! Too, it’s merely an example to get your attention.  The fact of the matter is, if we all believe from the start that we are 100% capable, no matter what the circumstance, then we have a win-win situation. This, beautiful people, applies to parents, teachers, aunty’s, uncles, all of us because ALL ADULTS ARE PARENTS!!!!

What I know for sure is “All of our futures” depend on All of OUR CHILDREN receiving the best that we have to offer!

So, how did I, Madame Salaam, as both a parent and a professional serving tens of thousands, develop and maintain a whole parent mindset that helped and still helps me to sustain a solid foundation for the global community? Strategic Forward Thinking Goals with Love and Solution Driven Actions with Care!  No need to twist my arm. Here… I’ll share a few tips from my Whole Teacher Whole Parent Hit List;

  • Always make sure that Strengths stand out greater than challenges (individual, family and classroom), so you can “Build with Confidence” on what you have, being clear to identify “How” these strengths may help Overcome Obstacles…
  • Always live within your means (balance your household budget and don’t overspend), simultaneously including your youth in the family/home managing process…
  • Set goals and action plans and share them every week (at least)
  • Surround yourself with “Progressive People” and be sure your children know who these people are and why they “Sit in the front row” of your life… 
  • Make a firm, yet loving commitment to take great care of Yourself, doing the best you can, thereby being the greatest role model! My 8th grade English teacher, the Beautiful Ms. Usdin, was “immaculate” in her demeanor and presentation every class for 2 years. She remains my greatest inspiration for “Presentation”. My mother and father ALWAYS looked healthy, were well groomed and left the window wide open, to the family and professional responsibilities they both cried and cheered about…. Even if they did not know I was watching so intensely* wink wink!

*And about that Back to School Shopping…..

The GAP is more than a retail store!

Okay. It’s less than a month into school. Your back to school shopping could be over by now.  Students are looking good and fresh.  Your children are ready to wear the latest and hottest gear.  Even if your child is sporting a school uniform, you still may have had to spend time in the stores to purchase footwear, jackets and educational items.  What’s next?

I am sure that by now, you realize that one of  most children and especially teenagers favorite pastimes is shopping.  Specifically, when teens shop, they experience an adrenaline rush that sparks their imaginations, reduces tension and opens up their willingness to talk and explore?  If you did realize this, did you also recognize that “Shopping  Sprees are Golden Teachable Moments”?

Countless parents find communicating with their teen to be a tremendous challenge that creates a GAP in the family structure.  Go figure, the child feels the same way, but has no idea what to do about it, except to be angry and/or quiet.  A “whole parent” has to be on top of their game turning life’s experiences into opportunities.  So before the next reason or season to shop is upon your family, think about these

5 Tips from my ‘Bridging the GAP” hit list…

  1. Discuss the shopping budget with your teen beforehand, not waiting until they pick out their desired purchases then saying “So you really do think money grows on trees huh?”
  2. Include them in the home and budget planning process. Be honest and communicate specific details with your teen.  Believe me, they will understand better than you think, respecting your honesty and integrity much more than a daily reminder of how you sacrifice working two jobs just to take care of them.
  3. Check out books and/or magazines together to get an idea about what their tastes and interests are.  This way you can prevent your jaw from dropping while going into shock at the fitting room!
  4. Ask your child about the trends and the role they feel fashion and style plays in having a healthy positive image.  “How do you feel about” OR “What would you like to do different?”
  5. 5.     And for a real stretch, when you want your child to try on something that you feel will look great, return the favor and try something on that they feel will look great on you!

There are numerous ways to build the relationship and close the communication GAP between parent and teenager.  Shopping is one really great way. The shopping experience introduces a wide variety of possible conversation topics… local travel, sports, arts & culture, people, tourism, fashion, trends, music, economics, etiquette and so on.  Yet remember… a conversation is not a lecture mom and dad. Please, as a favor to me, take a moment to remember your inner child  Shopping gives the whole family a chance to have quality time, share imaginations, spread  love to the public, laugh out loud, play dress up and relax your inner with their outer child, by being free & silly together!

Remember … Our Children Rock “YET” Terrific Teachers and Whole Parents Rule!

P.S. I Love You*

P. Salaam Jaha is Founder/CEO of SAI, Salaam Arts & Inspiration llc, Principal of The Salaam School of Wellness Wealth & Wisdom, Proprietor of Eve’s Room Wellness Studio and Aromatherapy Organics, Founder Executive Director of GirlSpirit~WomenSong Inc, Co-Principal of Jaha International Wellness Ministry, National Holistic Health Practitioner, National Family Development Professional, Interfaith Minister, Wedding Officiate  and Author Publisher of Small Books with BIG TRUTHS*

Enjoy her journey of Whole Life Success at www.SalaamArtsandInspiration.com

Her Life is Her Message*

3 Responses

  1. Following all, what a terrific internet site and useful posts, I’ll upload inbound website link – bookmark this net website? Regards, Reader.

    September 5, 2011 at 11:35 pm

  2. Woah nelly, how about them aplpes!

    September 14, 2011 at 3:00 pm

  3. Gym

    Much appreciated for the information and share!

    September 21, 2011 at 4:35 am

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>